Nesting

My roomie and I were having a conversation the other night and I was telling her how I wrote the entry the other day asking men to beat it. I'm explained that I'm in eff it mode and how I don't feel like I have to explain myself to anyone, especially a man. Sidenote: the woman I am today is nothing like the woman I was 4 months ago (actually lets take it back to age 14- four months ago...12 loooong years). I used to bend over backwards for men and always accommodate. Sadly, I didn't realize how much of a catch I was and always felt like it would be the end of the world if my man and I broke up...ummm...yeah I'm going to stop here because this could go on for days and really needs to be explored on someone's couch, not my blog.

An-ty-ways, my roomie listened to me vent and summed up my mood in one word: nesting. For those of you who don't know, the nesting period is the time right before a woman has a baby. She kind of withdraws from everyone and is completely engrossed in creating the space for the baby in her home. My roomie explained to me that I've already gotten preggers (i.e. wrote the book) and the editing phase I'm in now is my nesting period.

Makes total sense to me :) I can't wait for everyone to read my baby Fat Kills.

Lol sorry sidenote: does anyone remember that show Empty Nest? I soooo had a crush on Dr. Weston ran-dom-i-know! I think I loved the show so much because it was a spinoff of the greatest show in life... GOLDEN GIRLS... yes I know the theme song, down to the instrumental interludes, down to Blanche's shoulder shimmy. And yes I get hype whenever they do the breakdown verse twice and equally pissed if they don't do the breakdown at all. Finally, yes I watch it on Oxygen, Hallmark, Lifetime, and WeTV. Don't worry Golden Girls fans, I will dedicate an entire post to my love of Blanche, Rose, Dorothy and Sophia...lol and Stan's ass with that damn hair piece!

Beat It

Yes, the title of today's blog is a classic MJ (RIP Michael...I am still crying on the inside) hit but it is my common response to things in life, particularily MEN.

So, as an author and aspiring business mogul, I run into all types of men. I'm a born networker so I rarely give men the cold shoulder, especially when there is a potential business link in the future. However, I am sooooooooooo tired of men trying to push me into a "relationship."

Quotes around the relationship because men will say "oh I understand you don't want a man" but will effin turn around and blow my cell up, call me baby (since when was I your damn baby???) and try to make themselves a regular (daily/weekly) fixture in my schedule.

It's irritating because I make it a point to tell men from JUMP that I am not girlfriend material b/c I am

1. On the most serious grind ever in life
2. Realize that my free time is steadily dwindling. As time progresses, I will become even more busy and I don't see this ending for at least the next 2 years

Like jeez, I love to kick it and hang out but please don't confuse that for me actually liking your ass. Please don't think I'm interested in a relationship, ESPECIALLY when I tell you from jump that I'm not looking for that at all.

I do realize I am not ugly at all (praise the Lord my momma is a fox! My daddy is a cutie too but I look exactly like her so she gets the credit). I also know that my entrepreneurial spirit will entrance a mofo quickly. Most men I meet love the fact that I'm on the grind and I honestly feel like some (not all) realize that I'm about to make that $$ and think they can latch on and hop on board my train to successville.

Sorry but it ain't gon hap'n cap'n. I am not the one so please don't play yourself. Besides, I already have my eye on a certain Trey Songz and as SOON as I blow up, I'm going to find my man! Oh my giiiyaaahd take a look at my boo back when he had braids (he is equally as fine, if not finer with the Caesar):

Breakin' Out That Fine Toothed Comma Comb

So I'm currently in the editing phase of my book and that ish is no joke. I wrote my novel off the top of my head (i used a simple outline for the chapters and picked out the corresponding songs and went from there). As a result, the editing is quite vicious. I didn't read my entire novel until I went through the first round of edits. Speaking of edits, here is a breakdown of the editing cycle:

1. I did a quick edit to fill in any gaps but didn't really focus on grammar
2. My best friend does an edit to make sure the story is coherent ( I allllllll love him!). He is very intelligent (Princeton U grad 05) but doesn't like to read fiction. I actually ran the entire story idea by him before I even started writing just to make sure it made sense.
3. I make his changes and send it to one of my other besties and she gets down with the grammar. Her eyes are so precious.
4. I look over her final version and send it to the typesetter (who is the bomb.com)
5. Once everything has been typeset, I will go visit my best friend and we will spend the weekend giving it a final look through.

This ish is consuming but I'm really proud of everything. It's crazy that I'm so close to publishing and I'm really trying to relish and document every moment. Lol my best friend is a fool. He emailed me the other day and said he would have my edits to me as soon as he went through the proof with his "fine toothed comma comb." Although I used to work as a copy editor and have my degree in Print Journalism, I HATE using commas. I probably only used 5 the entire novel...I know it's shameful lol.

Put my city on the mizzap!

Young! Wale is performing on the Video Music Awards!!!! This means so much to me as an aspiring Metro artist. It's about time they started peepin our skills and givin it that national eye. I can't wait until I see a go-go performance on the awards. I don't mean the go-go band performing as a backup band.  I mean an actual go-go band performing the whole time. I would go so freakin craaaaaaaazy if UCB performed.

Wow they actually hit another one of my classics...  Sexy Lady

I'ma come git you on Saturday
Ima pick you up on saturday
Maybe you can gimmie some whatsaname!!!!!

But yeah lol I love my uuuuuuurrrrreaaahhh (area)!

And shoutout to Beyonce for letting Taylor finish her speech :) That was cool as hell.

Aight I'm out.

Random Thoughts

So my event planning company, Transcend. Event Management & Consulting is planning an upcoming event in a few weeks. My business partner and I are on our grind, trying our hardest to take the DMV by storm. Transcend. is the greatest, especially at this point in my self publishing adventure. I really need a breather from my book these days and Transcend. provides that breath of fresh air.

Some days I want to scream and pull my hair out. Editing is no joke, no bull. We're making quick moves (shoutout to my boos j.R. and Tan) but it's still time consuming. On top of that, I have to handle all types of admin ish for my book, like the website.

My webdesigner is the greatest! We're both trying to get our entrepreneurial grind on and I don't know what I would do without her. I spent a nice portion of my day talking to the folks at paypal so I can finally get my shopping cart set up on the site. The dude was very helpful and I made sure to send his manager a follow up email, saying how he was really helpful. Sidenote: am I the only one that does this anymore? It's so easy to complain but even easier to compliment a service rep. I'm gonna send him a copy of my book when I publish too.

Anyways, I'm feeling overwhelmed as usual but I'm trying to keep a smile at all times. Every time I think about complaing, I reflect on all of my blessings. A year ago, I was drifting through life, no purpose, no real goals, nothing. Now, I'm building an empire. I really thank God for blessing me with my novel, my event planning business, my friends, and business associates.

Is this love, is this love, is this love, is this love that I'm feelin...it sure is :)

I feel like the random feature on my iPod isn't so random when it comes to my life. This morning, I got off the rain and headed for work and Bob Marley and the Wailers' "Is This Love" started to play. I was so caught off guard, that I stood at the crosswalk for a minute, even as the blinker signaled that it was cool for me to cross the street.

Today marks what would've been me and my ex's one year anniversary. "Is This Love" was one of our top 3 songs. I'm not angry or bitter. Just a little sad because that one song brought back so many memories. I can't fake and say that I don't miss him because I do. On the flip, I'm glad things worked out the way that they did.

When we first met, I was an average, 9-5 come home and chill kind of girl. Months later, I evolved into a focused writer and entrepreneur. Before, I had all the time in the world and, out of nowhere, I needed space so I could write in peace. My schedule wasn't so open, I wasn't as available, and that put a strain on our relationship. I was so determined to do something with my life. I was tired of getting paid a portion of what I was worth. I was tired of the same shit, different day mentality.

My ex wasn't so open to change and, again, that ultimately destroyed the relationship. I don't say this to blast him or talk shit. I still care for him a lot and wish that I could talk to him every now and then without the animosity.

Being an artist is a crazy thing becuase you become consumed in your work. I used to lock myself in my room for 8-12 hours every weekend and work on my book non-stop. I would get lost in the moment, completely oblivious of the time. I loved (and still love) being in my own world, crafting characters and situations. As an artist, that shit is awesome, as a partner in a relationship, it's not cool at all. After this experience, I do know that I won't be in a "relationship" for the next two years at least. I'm too involved in my own world. I can barely date now because I don't return calls, and see nothing wrong with going weeks without contact. It's nothing personal directed towards the other person, I'm just on my grind. I'm not only a novelist, I'm an entrepreneur (Transcend. is about to take DMV over!), a screenwriter, an aspiring actress and dancer, a songwriter and singer, and I'm going to start bass lessons in a few months. Whew, I have a lot going on!

My projects are my boo now. I can always get married at 35 and have a kid or two by 40, Lord willing.  I can't fake, I miss the companionship but eff that, I have so much to do...lol I feel like Will Ferrell in Step Brothers. Now that I'm free, I can do so many activities lol

I'm off to kick it with the fam this Labor Day weekend.

Happy Birthday Loren and Stacey!

Gimmie the bridge now...

This post is overdue but hey man, I'm editing like crazy and dealing with life. For the first time in months, the motivation is at an all time low. I'm so used to being an inspiration and encouraging everyone I meet. The last few days have been shitty though. But it is what it is. I can't dwell on it. I especially can't dwell after watching one of the tightest documentaries ever in life. "The Nine Lives of Marion Barry." So many emotions ran through me as I watched...

• Anger-because I had no clue that he was a such a transformational figure; prior to this documentary, my memories consisted of a. everyone saying he was the greatest Mayor ever and b. a grainy FBI tape of him smoking crack
• Disappointment-He was on his way to becoming the next MLK back in the day prior to the drug charge.
• Pride-because he LITERALLY transformed the DC area. He is the reason that the Metro area has the largest affluent black class in America. He opened the doors of the government and black folks have been chillin there with the bomb benefits ever since.

I was blown away at his civil rights participation and his education. Not that I thought he wasn't educated but Mayor Barry was well on his way to becoming a doctor prior to his foray into politics. He dropped out of his Ph.D program to join the civil rights movement!


The documentary was tight as hell and I felt so inspired and motivated after watching it. I'm not judging that man for being on the junk. Coke and crack are hard as hell to quit. Not saying it was right for him to be on the junk and run a city but hey man, there are plenty of people running corporations and holding political offices that are on prescription drugs. Prescription drugs are just as bad, if not worse than the illegal drugs. And actually, "illegal" drugs are legal as hell. If they aren't legal, how do they get into our country so easily? Might as well legalize all the shit and let the sales boost our raggedy ass economy.


I'm digressing though... I just want to say I love Marion Barry for pulling a Michael Jackson and "being that man in the mirror." I'm not going to walk around feeling sorry for myself. I gotta make major moves like my man Marion "Mayor for Life" Barry.

Gimmie the bridge ya'll! You know they featured the quintessential gogo classic, Bustin Loose by Chuck Brown. Happy Belated B-Day Chuck!